


Paper cuts

by gulabjaem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Im sorry this is a mess, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 10:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19227727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gulabjaem/pseuds/gulabjaem
Summary: It started, as all things do, with a letter.





	Paper cuts

**Author's Note:**

> well whoop can't believe this actually happened

_My dearest Doie,_

Doyoung smiled. It had been a long day at work. His mum had left him a voicemail last week, “Grandma’s leaving for Europe tomorrow. Give her a call before she does.'' He'd forgotten, he was a busy man after all. 

_How are you doing? Budapest is indeed beautiful. There are two wonderful, pretty cities called Buda and Pest divided by a river. You would love it here. I found a post box near this souvenir shop called Paprika Market and despite the cold, I decided I must write to you, especially in light of recent events._

She’s the cutest, he thought, while smiling to himself. Placing the envelope on the table, he went for a shower, made himself a cup of tea and scrolled through his emails one final time. He could read the letter later. Only when he had settled down in bed did he pick up the letter again. A cold breeze blew through the open window. Doyoung shivered. He hated the cold. 

_I met Jaehyun today._

Oh. OH. His blood ran cold.She didn’t know, of course, she didn’t, and Doyoung felt like kicking himself for forgetting to tell her. How could he leave such and important detail out? Right. He hadn’t spoken to any of them in over a month.

_He was on a business trip. However, I convinced him to take out some time to have a cup of coffee and a nice chat with me._

No, no, no, no, no, that’s not how he wanted grandma to find out, not from him. It had been a month since they’d broken up. One month, one week and four days. He was keeping count. He’d rather not think about it, of course. That’s why he preferred to drown himself in his work nowadays. That, and it kept the bossman happy. But it was 12 am, he was at his most vulnerable and his grandma was talking about him and-  
He hadn’t seen that name in weeks. Taeyong and Ten knew better than to pry into his life, and Sicheng was just bad at emotions as he was. He continued reading. 

_He has grown a lot since you last brought him for dinner a year ago. You should bring him over more often._

At least Jaehyun had caught on. Thank God for Jung Jaehyun, he thought. His eyes were burning. Perhaps he should have gone to sleep already. He remembered the last time he’d taken Jaehyun to his grandma’s house for dinner. No matter how painful the memory was, it still brought a smile to his face. A series of images flashed through his mind. Jaehyun helping Jeno with his homework as doyoung and his mom prepared dinner. Jaehyun driving the two of them to the outskirts of the city so they could stargaze. Jaehyun’s face, illuminated by the light of the crescent moon that hung in the sky. The crescent moon, that Doyoung would get down on his knees and offer to Jaehyun if he asked for it. No. He wasn’t going to go there.

_Why didn’t you ever tell me he got promoted to CEO? Not only is he doing well, but he’s still the same kind-hearted boy with shining eyes, humble as ever- you truly made the right choice with him._

It was an understatement to say Doyoung was proud of him. Tears were in his eyes as he looked up to the ceiling and smiled. He’d made it, finally. Everything had paid off.  
He thought of his Jaehyun as he finally gave in, the tears flowing down his cheeks interrupted by the occasional hiccup.Jaehyun, who was warm smiles in winter. Jaehyun, who was obnoxiously colourful umbrellas in the same old boring streets with the same boring people with the same boring umbrellas. Jaehyun, who was sparkling eyes that he brought home for the first time, back when they were freshmen in high school and had terrible haircuts and Doyoung’s grandma still lived at home.. Jaehyun, who was all dimples and dumb grins and warm bodies that clung to each other for dear life because someone insisted on leaving the windows open in the name of fresh air. His Jaehyun, who he’d let go because of his own insecurities. His Jaehyun, who was no longer his.  
_You make him so happy, Doie, I see it in his eyes every time he speaks about you._

He couldn’t do this anymore. An invisible force made him go over that same sentence over and over again. You make him so happy. Did he? Even now, after he’d probably broken his heart and fucked everything up? 

_I’ve been waiting for you to get married for the longest time._

The velvet box was at the back of Doyoung’s cupboard, hidden beneath stacks of hoodies he’d “borrowed” from Jaehyun in high school. He repressed the urge to put one of them on. 

_But Doie, I must say I’m very disappointed in you. The bags under his eyes are heavier and the sparkle in his eyes is dimmer._

Why? Why wasn’t he taking care of himself? Doyoung’s nails were nearly tearing his skin as his left hand lay in a fist at the side. The paper was suspiciously damp with smudged letters.

_Are you not taking care of him properly? I know you love him very much, dear, you should pay close attention to his health. Make sure he’s not overworking himself. Take him to the doctor soon. We wouldn’t want him to be sick now, would we?_

I’m sorry, yes I do, I should, I will, I will, no, no we wouldn’t.  


_You always call me over, but this time I urge you, both of you, to come home. I’m willing to pay for all you expenses. I’ll make those ginger cookies Jaehyun says he likes. Be sure to take the recipe from me before you forget._   
_Hope to see you soon._   
_Love always._   
_Grandma_

He threw the paper into a far corner of the room, pulled his sheets up and cried. Then cried some more. And then he simply lay on his bed for a long time staring at the blank wall, black ceiling, blank right side of the bed. The clock read 1:14 am. He was tired, his head was pounding, but most importantly, he felt hollow. Then he picked up his phone, opened up a contact he hadn’t opened in ages, sent a text and went to sleep. Not before switching off his phone though. _I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense, Doie, just switch it off every night._

To: Jae  
Hey  
Thank you.  
Sent,1:20 am


End file.
